Just in case you wondered....

I graduated. After working at Walmart for seven Christmases and more than six years, I took a job that didn't require me to wear the blue and khaki anymore.

I stop in now and again. The self-checks are still there, and the new program is even worse than the old one, so it seems from the attendants' frustration.

Lots of the same staff, but of course, some new ones. The constant question: do you miss it?

I miss people, but not Walmart. I'm sure there are Walmarts where managers listen and value their staff. It was a rarity in this store. But it's made me a better supervisor.

Let me see, no ID and you look 17?

Sometimes it's frustrating declining a sale to a minor. Sometimes it's just hilarious.

Recently, two young people came up to my self-check register. They were trying to buy some type of epoxy. The register prompted me to check ID. I asked them to pull their IDs, and of course, the buyer became indignant.

"I'm buying it, she's not." he said angrily. "Why do you need to see her ID?"

I explained that our store rules require that anyone buying certain controlled substances show ID. And if more than one minor is in the party without an obvious adult (as in Dad buying the substance with his children along), then all must show ID.

Resigned to being denied, the boy offered to put the glue back on the shelf. I declined to give it back to him. Unfortunately, I knew that he would just walk to another register. I also knew that there was a good chance that he would go get another tube and go to another register.

Instead, he showed back up at my register, without his girl friend. Once again, the register prompted an ID check. I explained to him that I couldn't sell him the product alone after I had refused the sale to him earlier with a possible minor. He said he thought this product might not be controlled. I couldn't believe that he didn't attempt the sale at another register.

The very same night I saw a group of kids wandering around together, but one boy brought some alcohol to the register. I was on pretty shaky ground declining a sale to him based on seeing him with some other youths earlier, so I asked him to pull his ID. Game over -- he had given his ID to one of the other people he had been hanging around with. When he had to call them over, I asked for all of their IDs, which they couldn't produce.

Then there was the night that a young man tried to buy two bottles of wine and six cans of spray paint (guess that would have been quite the graffiti party). No, he didn't have his ID on him, but he lived just around the corner. He could go get his ID and be right back. I said the stuff would be here when he ran home and came back. Of course, he never came back.

Finally, don't try using someone else's ID in a small town. One night, a young man came in to purchase alcohol and I asked for his ID. He pulled out an ID and I looked it over, then looked at him. I did a double take. The kid on the ID had gone to church with us. I looked back at the boy, who looked a little like the ID, but it was definitely not him. Sorry, I told him. "And give Matt back his ID before I have a chat with Matt's parents."

Accident Free

Accident free. We've been accident free for a little while now, so management is giving us a reward. A snack. I'm underwhelmed. It's happening on a day that I'm not working, and I can't eat what they're serving anyway.

I have always wondered about the Wal-Mart incentives. If you are accident free, how about a lanyard, extra points on your review, a thank you note? Maybe a nifty shirt that an employee can actually wear to work? As it is, there is more incentive to get hurt. You get to stay home and collect worker's comp. No one outside of your small circle of acquaintances actually knows you got hurt and set the "days without an accident" ticker back to zero.

A large part of the store never attends daily staff meetings, during which safety issues are discussed. Thus, a lot of the staff misses the discussions about warming up, lifting, using ladders, reaching, etc. It would seem that management would take notes about these discussions and post them, or provide copies to the employees who miss them. It's their bonus, and their workplace, too.

Shoplifting doesn't pay (especially when you're not good)

Wouldn't criminals look the type? How could you operate in that kind of fog that you wouldn't even notice that everyone in the area is looking at you?

It's funny when our store walker is onto someone shoplifting. They're hiding stuff under the baby's blankets (teach your children what?), or inside bulky clothing, or in bags that they've already checked out. You name it, they've done it.

So they're in electronics or cosmetics or wherever, stuffing away. And they're caught on video or by a staff member. First one person, then as people notice, more and more staff are watching from afar, trying to be nonchalant. Can't wait for the moment when they try to go for the door, and they're confronted.

Now imagine being that person. You've been stuffing things in. Wouldn't you be looking around, judging if someone saw you? If the same person is anywhere near you when you go to another part of the store? Or are you totally oblivious?

Apparently, totally clueless. Not that criminals are the world's smartest people, but apparently it doesn't take a brain to shoplift. And as the economy gets worse, there are more of them. And the store is chalking up more arrests.

Breaking news

"Are gang members really going to kill three women tonight at Wal-Mart?"

What? No? OMG. What?!?!?

Finishing up another express lane order at Wal-Mart last night, this lady decided I needed to be filled in. Apparently, I was in mortal danger at the register 20 feet from the entrance. Mortal danger from idiot guests, someone fixing the stupid air curtain or another staff member wielding a boxed piece of furniture perhaps. A gang member...I highly doubt it. And if it were true -- what the heck was she doing shopping here tonight? Tempting fate?

"I haven't heard anything about it," I said. "Probably another email hoax."

"It's all over the news," she continued. "I got a text from my friend in Las Vegas."

Las Vegas. Las Vegas I might understand. But rural Arizona. Hmmm. Yep, a little wannabe action with fence-painters and high school kids who want to fight with every human being that "dis-ses" them. That's our gang activity. Except for maybe a few police officers who want to make the problem way bigger than it is to frighten us and get a few more gang-prevention grants.

It's now dark, and one of our staff members comes in to let us know there's a squad car parked in front of the store (on the sidewalk, between the doors, by the way). Oh, maybe they're concerned too? Not really. It's an EMPTY squad car, totally dark. Not too much of a deterrent effect from a parked empty vehicle.

I take my break, never even see anything suspicious. A couple of college guys with a case of beer and Jager. The first guy to pull his ID turns 21 today. I decide not to warn them about the gang slayings. Not that they'd care.

A little over an hour to go on my shift. I'm operating one of the good registers. I get told to go back by the door because one of the old lady cashiers can't work there. She gets pneumonia easily. I decided not to tell her about the gangs, OR the fact that you get pneumonia from a virus, not from a door or cold air. But secretly, I wish the gangs would come and drop her. Give me a break. Stupid management allows it. Would that be reverse age-discrimination?

I'm off the clock, and I check out a few things at the single open register. I walk to the door, walk out with another cashier. The empty cop car is still there. Otherwise the parking lot is almost dead. Apparently the gang members are all drinking with the birthday boy, or maybe they road tripped to Las Vegas. I'm going home.